The art of switching off

written by Dr Jessica Munafo

It’s an oft-cited irony of the technological age that the inventions that were supposed to save us time are stealing it from us. In today’s always-on working culture, it’s increasingly rare to stop, step away from the stressing and striving and take time to truly reflect on who we are, what we want and where we’re going. Following her guidance on cultivating resilience in October, clinical psychologist Dr Jessica Munafo explores the restorative power of switching off, how to get the most from a holiday, and why we should all spend some time in the ‘green zone’…

Real downtime creates space for your stress hormones to return to baseline. My therapy clients find the ‘Three Circles’ model from compassion-focused therapy the most intuitive and appealing way to think about this process. Put simply, it’s a way of thinking about how we regulate our emotions that can provide insight into our unmet needs or where there might be imbalances in our psychological lives.

The model is based on decades of evolutionary psychology and neurophysiological research, which suggests there are three main categories of emotion systems.

The threat system (often represented as a ‘red circle’) is concerned with protection from harm. When in danger or under duress, we are flooded by cortisol and adrenaline that mobilise us to self-preserve and move away from threats. The emotions associated with this system include fear, disgust, anger and shame.

The drive system (or ‘blue circle’) is focused on incentives, rewards and acquiring resources. When this system has been stimulated, chemicals such as dopamine are released as part of the striving response to attain things we want and desire. The feelings associated with the ‘blue circle’ include excitement, pride, passion and pleasure.

Finally, the soothing system (or ‘green circle’) is there to help us settle, rest and regenerate. It is a state of non-striving which is commonly achieved through affiliation, connectedness and trust – linked with the release of chemicals concerned with bonding such as oxytocin, and natural opiates such as the endorphins. The emotions associated with this system are peacefulness, contentment, and feeling valued.

In western cultures there is a tendency to rely on the threat and drive systems by self-medicating with striving. However, a life in which we only run from danger or towards reward ultimately leads to exhaustion, burnout and dissociation.

Drive (blue circle) is highly addictive and our online world of notifications relentlessly stimulates it with little buzzes of dopamine. We chase the highs without even realising we are doing it. We ask ourselves why we don’t feel truly rested after an evening on the sofa scrolling through Twitter, or why we still feel a bit lonely and empty after our photos are liked by friends on Instagram. The truth that we all know, deep down, is that our screens will never give us what we need to ‘rest and digest’ or ‘tend and befriend’ (as the neurophysiologists might say). Only the soothing green circle can do that.

So how might this relate to relaxing over the holidays and thinking ahead to the new year? Here are some things to consider when filling up your diary…

Attune to your needs

Think about which circles you inhabit the most and whether they might be out of balance. It can help to actually draw the three circles to show their relative sizes as you imagine them. Too little threat might mean you are not paying enough attention to what needs fixing in the world; too little drive may put you at risk of depressive feelings; too little soothing may mean you are heading for burnout.

Work within your personality

If you need more ‘green circle’ time, that doesn’t need to mean that you throw yourself into socialising. Depending on where you are on the introversion/extraversion spectrum, find moments where you can connect in the way that makes you feel peaceful, contented, safe and valued. It could be reading quietly alongside someone else; it could be ice-skating hand in hand; it could be listening to your favourite radio presenter. It’s not what you do, but how you do it.

Be mindful of falling into familiar patterns and comfortable routines

Stretch out your comfort zone when you have the resource and pluck up the courage to see someone you trust face-to-face (instead of just WhatsApping them). If you feel avoidant when it comes to intimacy, self-care or receiving affection from others, then try to explore what some of your fears, blocks and resistances might be about.

Set your goals

Remember that dissociating, numbing or cutting off from your experience when you get home from work is not the same as spending time in the ‘green circle’. It might feel strange to start with if you are used to zoning out, but it’s worth examining what you are hoping to get from your time off and making it truly restorative.

Don’t confuse self-medication with self-nourishment

Creating a ‘crash-and-burn’ cycle, whereby you use up all your energy in threat and/or drive followed by collapse (which is often just a low-level state of threat, really), may not be sustainable in the long-term. This kind of pattern can play havoc with your stamina levels, too, and it can be useful to consider how to pace yourself more successfully. Write down the minimum and the maximum number of different types of activities you think is reasonable to do per day.

Look outside yourself

When it comes to goal-setting for the year ahead (the ultimate ‘blue circle’ activity), maybe hold in mind your own personal aspirations but also the hopes and dreams of any collectives that you might be part of ( these are potentially wonderful sources of ‘green circle’ feelings of connectedness and value).

Live in the moment

Look back over the last year and balance reflection on the past with anticipation of the future. And then bring your attention back to the here and now. One of my mantras is: learn from the past, look to the future, but live in the present. I haven’t managed to do this yet as I’m prone to rumination. It is hard but worth pursuing.

Make connected resolutions

As you review targets you have, try to see whether they connect with your deeper life-goals. Do they make your heart sink or your heart sing? Instead of only having concrete goals (which can be achieved and then discarded), explore your inner compass and check-in with yourself to understand the profound and lasting pathways that could lead you to an authentic and worthwhile future.

In the creative industries, making spaces to rest and digest is important on so many levels. It provides a chance to refresh your mind, recover from fatigue, allow unconscious ideas to bubble up to the surface and enjoy connections with people outside your field that can help you think laterally.

And so, at a time in our history when our ‘red’ and ‘blue’ circles seem to be simulated more with every passing day, I wish you a very merry – and very ‘green’ – Christmas and New Year.